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  Greetings, my name is Bola, the number one citizen of the
  Federal Capital Territory. Let me tell you
  the truth, since the secret is already out.
  Of course I took the funds that were originally meant
  for constructing clinics and classrooms for our children. Rather than paying contractors for schools
  and hospitals, I gambled every single naira away on digital slot machines and virtual poker.
  
  My domestic crisis is even worse: my madam is giving me sleepless nights.
  She has turned the mansion upside down because she wanted us to fly to Dubai for a massive shopping spree.
  Can you believe it? She planned to buy half of
  Dubai Mall, while I was busy chasing jackpots on the internet.
  She does not care about the hospitals or schools at all, she is
  only crying over missed shopping sprees. Meanwhile,
  my girlfriend is also stressing me out, demanding expensive gifts since I lost our stolen treasury
  in spin-to-win games.
  The root of the problem in our country today: online gambling in Nigeria has gone completely out of control.
  
  Across our streets and on every mobile phone, citizens and greedy politicians are getting addicted to
  these online betting platforms. They are the ones
  stealing our future. They took the money meant for schools
  and hospitals, leaving our children to study
  under trees, while fools like me spin virtual wheels.
  
  Being a brilliant and dedicated public servant whose mind is entirely focused
  on keeping my wife happy and treating my lover right, I see no flaws in my leadership.
  It baffles me why anyone would call me corrupt or question my financial choices.
  I am simply a modern governor enjoying harmless digital leisure.
  The real culprits here are those deceptive online casino platforms in Nigeria that clearly cheated me
  out of my rightful winnings. If those virtual slot machines had just paid
  out the jackpot I deserved, every hospital and school would have been built twice over, and
  my wife would already be shopping happily in Dubai. So let us not point fingers at a dedicated leader like me,
  instead, let us ban these online betting apps that stole my money and disrupted my home.